


The Stars

by NostalgicNerd



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Before Armageddon, before Crowley fell, before earth I guess???, before the notpocalypse, but also i'm satisfied with this ending, god is a woman, headcanons, some of them are only sorta mentioned, somewhat of an annoying ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 18:03:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20232079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NostalgicNerd/pseuds/NostalgicNerd
Summary: "What was my name? Why can't I remember? Why did they take this from me?"A headcanon about Crowley and who he might have been before he sauntered vaguely downwards.A fic in which he also meets Aziraphale for the first time, not that he would remember that.Bound to be typos because I changed a lot of stuff last minute





	The Stars

All things considered, building a universe should have been easy. There were thousands of angels to do the work, and all one had to do was suspend matter using a provided formula. The act was completely angelic, or it was supposed to be, just as it was supposed to be a simple task.

Currently, a small division of angels are working on a new galaxy which one of them had named the Milky Way (despite the fact that milk had not yet been created). Among this team of angels was one called Raphael. His hair was long and red, but appeared molten in the light of the newly crafted sun. A few of the others in the group were envious of him.

Emotions were deemed holy at the time, only angels and God existed, and only angels had them; so feelings were perfectly normal, except in the case like this in which envy was sinful. Raphael was unaware of his friends' envy, and was even less aware if he would even call them friends. He supposed they were just the group he hung around. After all, all six of them were quite inquisitive for angels. All of them were talkative too, pausing in their work at times, all except for Raphael.

Raphael enjoyed his work, and was strangely quiet at most times, unless he happened to be confronted by a superior; in which case he would bombard them with questions that never got answered. Currently he was working on an unnamed star, but despite its namelessness he thought it was beautiful. As he worked countless mathematical calculations to the front of his mind, the other angels in his work-group jabbered away.

"Hey Raphael! What are you going to do once things change?" the leader of the group asked. His named was Lucifer, and Raphael trusted him greatly. Lucifer was always the loudest, and asked more questions than even Raphael could. Plus, Lucifer didn't mind getting hands-on with other angels like Michael. It sounds dangerous, but no angel had ever given any reason for a serious punishment before, so they had no idea what they were about to do.

Raphael simply answered Lucifer's question with a hum. Change was all Lucifer ever wanted to talk about, and he had gotten an answer from Raphael multiple times before. Today, however, Lucifer wasn't too happy to be ignored. He pushed the new star away and Raphael cried out.

As Lucifer's power collided with the new star, Raphael withdrew his power as quickly as he could. The sudden change and imbalance stressed the star, causing it to overheat and explode. Thus the first supernova was created, and the Milky Way's Big Bang was set into motion. Raphael stared on, broken just like his destroyed work. The other angels grinned, getting new ideas about the creation process and celebrating Raphael's failure as a new reason for heaven to change.

Raphael was soon summoned back to heaven. He hadn't been back in so long he almost could have forgotten the look of the place if angels could forget things. On his way to headquarters he bumped into another angel whom he wasn't sure he'd ever seen before. He must have been new, but Raphael was certain God had stopped creating new angels. There were already so many of them; why would there be a need for any more?

This angel was shorter than him, but radiated a strong power that Raphael was sure he had never felt from even Gabriel or Michael. The smaller angel began to apologize profusely. Raphael smiled and stopped him.

"I don't mind. To be honest, I feel a bit worried to be here again. A delay is nice," Raphael said. There was silence, and he knew the other angel was calculating what his words could have possibly meant.

"There's no reason to be scared. I met Her, She's quite nice really," the angel spoke softly. For being so powerful, he seemed so scared. Raphael stared at the angel, and the angel stared back. For a moment their heads hurt, and both of them were sure the other had just changed forms for only a moment and had been wearing the strangest clothes. Perhaps it was a glimpse of something in God's plan for them that they had yet to see.

"Who are you?" A common question from Raphael. Like usual, he got no reply, well... almost.

"Aziraphale! No delaying!" Gabriel's voice boomed around the two angels, but the Archangel was nowhere to be seen. The angel in front of Raphael blushed, bowing his head a moment before disappearing completely.

For a moment, Raphael stayed completely still and stared at the spot where the younger angel had been. He was sure he had just seen something, something he wasn't supposed to see. There would certainly be questions about this, he thought, and continued his way toward the place where he knew She would be.

~~~  
Raphael's hair was duller than it had been when the sun shone upon it, and duller than it had been when the lights of heaven surrounded him. In front of him was a pool of golden ichor, and behind him was nothing. Behind him there were once wings, but now a dark scorch mark adorned his pale skin; Where wings should have been, ichor flowed. He looked down at the abyss below him. What was down there had been an accidental creation of his, and now this whole thing was his fault. He was the last one left on heaven that was no longer allowed. The more righteous angels whispered a single worded name for Raphael's new sort: _demon_.

Continuing to stare down, Raphael began to feel dizzy and cold. Perhaps it was from the loss of the grace that once flowed through his holy veins, the loss of the feeling of light and love. Now he felt only dread, only dread and one other thing: anger.

He had held himself strong this whole time, despite the scorch marks, he hadn't cried in front of Michael. And what was it all for? In the hopes he would prove his strength and get to stay in heaven another day to ask even more questions. His grace had already been drained from his body at that point, and Gabriel had greedily taken it. The Archangels were stronger now that they had taken so much grace, it was a wonder they even stood up straight. He couldn't help but wonder if the archangels were stronger now than that one angel he had met... what was the scared one's name again? What was his own name? He wasn't sure he could remember much more than his reason for falling.

Vaguely he could hear a voice booming around him, telling him to jump down to the abyss already, but he was too caught up on memories. _What was my name? What was it? Why can't I remember? Why did they take this from me? Why did I ask so many questions before? I want my warmth back, I want my light, I want my stars, I want-_

** _"Aziraphale!"_ **

Crowley woke up.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
It's my personal headcanon that Crowley was created before Aziraphale and that Aziraphale was actually very powerful because he was part of a new sort of angels. (God started making new angels before the demons fell from heaven because she knew what was coming soon).  
It should also be noted that Crowley and Aziraphale glimpsed versions of themselves in the future, most probably in the modern era but it could really have been anywhere!  
Crowley has nightmares about his past, but can never seem to remember them when he wakes up :/


End file.
